I stopped by at Straight Talk with Dean & Marc to discuss my personal story and the basis for my new book. Straight Talk is a podcast that touches almost every aspect of our society. In this 2hr interview, some of the key themes and topics we covered were childhood trauma as well as abandonment, Mental health and overcoming adversity. After 13mins and 20secs (13:20) I join the conversation and you begin to hear my voice. So you can fast-forward the recording to 13:20 and we start with a casual introduction before getting into a much deeper conversation.
Towards the end, for the last 30mins we also had Heather Hutchinson, the Amazing singer, songwriter and author from Canada share her story. We all discussed mental health, acceptance and inclusion. It was an honor and privilege to talk to her.
Childhood Trauma & Abandonment
After the introduction I provided a brief overview of my early life journey and book. Then the host asked about my thoughts on childhood abandonment and folks looking to abandon their children and not even deal with them. I provided an emotional response based on my own personal experience.
“It was both parents, biological mother and the father, who abandoned me. My father took me to his sisters home and said I would be back and never came back. And I was six!.” ~ KIM
That foundation of a child growing up, was so crucial to my life journey into adulthood. Today I am going through PTSD and trying to get familiar with this new home, new structure and other changes in my life. I still question what happened that lead me to be rejected and abandoned by people that I know, that I trusted, that had an accountability, that had a responsibility.
Mental Health
The host also brought up therapy and how we are often scared about talking about therapy. We try to avoid it like the plague. In our diverse minority communities we also tend to avoid it. The host asked about how important I think therapy is for not only me but for everyone as a whole and the role of the church in conversations around mental health:
It’s taboo to our black culture and the older they get the more they don’t embrace it. They were very structured at my church, AME Zion and believed that prayer, God would take care of that. But though the years, I had to eventually seek help for my mental health and understand all those underlying psychological issues from my foundation that was broken from being abandoned. I later had to use the mental health tools to help me be healthy mentally and emotionally to be able to raise my children.
“There’s got to be some open communication and it’s got to be some true and authentic communication to get this health that people need!” ~ KIM
I am very blessed to have that foundation with the church. Without my adopted dad teaching me scriptures and combining it with mental health, I really don’t believe I would be where I am now. I remember him praying, I remember him teaching me how to pray. But both of the churches I grew up in did not embrace mental health or going to a therapist. You just prayed to God and what went on in your home, stayed in your home.
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
The host also asked about how my past impacted my life and how I coped with those situations as well as the importance of recognizing trauma and talking about it:
“I remember him pulling up to a gas station and he just kept hitting her all in her face and blood was everywhere.” ~ KIM
You can’t change nobody, the only thing you can change is yourself and your responses to their actions. Accepting and embracing helped me to understand me and then heal from childhood trauma. It helped me to break the patterns in my life. Especially the domestic abuse patterns. I had to get away from that mentality of attachment to toxic relationships.
Without me sharing my journey, it was meant for no reason. I believe that I made it through to let people know. There are also stories of children taking their life when they were bullied. There have been stories of people giving up when they were molested. They could not go on, went into drugs or just checked out. But when you survive it, it’s meant to be shared to help someone else. The truth in any form should be exposed.
My outcome is not a Cinderella outcome. I am a survivor.
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