A Place Called Through
On A Place Called Through with Patricia Goings, we share real stories of real everyday people who are going through life’s challenges to help empower, inspire and encourage you. Listen to a recent interview in which I share my story of accepting and embracing life and it’s traumas.
Accepting & Embracing Life
We started to talk about what it means to accept and embrace it all.
Accepting and embracing started with me. I had to start from the beginning. From the foundation of being abandoned and dropped off to my biological paternal aunt after the violent physical altercation between my parents. I had seen blood for the first time. I recalled my biological dad saying he will be back, but he never came back.
That change was traumatizing. I was left behind and I had to accept the brokenness, separation, and abandonment. I had to accept the feeling of being rejected by the parents who I loved and grew up with. This put a heavy weight on my decisions, my choices, the way I looked at myself, and the way I felt. Eventually I had to choose me.
The host commented on how at a very early age, I became a victim of domestic violence because of what I saw going on in my home. I had to relocate to living with people who I didn’t really know at that time and this was all very horrific because I was still little, still developing, and still growing. I was dealing with issues impacted by the violence I saw, the separation from my siblings, and adjusting to a new family.
The host asked me to compare the experience of the new adopted home with the home I grew up in.
It was very different. It was more structured. My biological parents were Pentecostal but my adopted parents were Methodist, AME Zion. My adopted-dad was very into prayers and the Bible, hymns, and praying. There was a belief that prayer changes everything.
Accepting The Past
& Changing The Future
The host asked what impact my past had on future relationships.
I remembered my first physical altercation with the person who broke my virginity. I remember wondering if I caused it or if I even have a voice to stop it. I remembered when it happened to my mother and I wondered what she did to cause him to be so angry and hit her that way. I felt helpless until I had to find that resilience to accept that I have a choice and I am worth more.
“The patterns had to stop. I had to look within and say they have to stop and it has to start with me. It has to start with me! No matter what anybody says or does, it has to start with me and I have to find my self worth…. I have to give myself one gift, and that is to choose me.” ~ K.I.M
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