Finding Encouragement in Hard Times

Motivate. Uplift. Inspire.

Linda’s Corner is a podcast that features amazing people from around the world to motivate, uplift, and inspire. It was a privilege to be invited for another interview to share my story and provide others with encouragement in hard times of life. The host believes that the first step to healing is to admit that you have a story, and it may not be a happy story but this is what happened and you can’t change the past but you can change how you feel today as well as your future. I am not a victim, I choose to be a survivor who has learned to develop self-love, inner resilience, and healing. As I courageously share my story of transformation, I encourage other abuse survivors to begin a process of self discovery and healing.

Sharing My Story

My memoir starts from my beginning of being adopted. I had witnessed abuse by my biological father against my mother. This specific physical altercation changed my life forever and just traumatized me because there was blood everywhere. He just put his fist all in her face and I remember him pulling her hair. I remember just being numb and frozen. My sister who was 2 yrs older than me was horrified. She was screaming, yelling and trying to pull my father off.

I remember looking at her and being sad because this was my older sister and I loved her and she showed me a lot of kindness and encouragement in hard times. But there was always a disconnection between me and my biological mother that I noticed until I was 5 yrs old. I never felt the love and caress that I yearned for from a parent. It was a form of abuse that I held on to. That fight lead to me being dropped off by my parents with my paternal aunt and uncle and my dad told me he will come back and get me but never did.

As I grew up, my first relationship ended up being abusive at 16. I felt like I did not have a voice. I was so swamped in this bondage of not being free, needing someone to validate me and choosing the other person first. But if I can’t fight for myself, I can’t trust anyone else to fight for me.

Finding Encouragement in Hard Times

The host spoke about trauma and the effects. The younger you are, the deeper it goes. Me and my sister both displayed the classic responses to traumatic events. First there is the fight or flight, and there is the freeze. Later on in life, I continued to go into abusive relationships but my sister would fight tooth-and-nail for me. She would tell me “Kim, you can’t take that! I am not going to let any man put his hands on me”. Both of us experienced the same traumatic events but the effects on our minds were different.

We also spoke about how to cope with traumatic, abusive situations.

The best way is to stand up for myself, to love myself and to know that I have value and I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

Today, I am going through journeys and challenges and God is letting me know that now that I have released my first book and memoir, He needs me to continue to walk the walk. I am still going to have to stand up for my truth and fight for myself. We still have to be resilient and strong everyday.

The host asked me what I do to cope when life continues to be hard.

I am learning to invest in myself even more. I wake up every morning trying to see things differently. I have started nature walks. This is something I want to do to get more in tune with myself and with God. Music has always been in my background so I listen to all types of music. I try to go to different restaurants, even by myself.

I also advocate for mental health and getting a strong support system. Embrace when it comes if it is supportive and positive because it could still take you to your next level. I like being open to looking for new opportunities. Even thought they may not always seem right, they can still get you to where you want to be. We all have free will and we choose and take the consequences. I choose every morning to not be bitter but better.