3 Valuable Pieces of breakup advice to help you heal
Now is the season to heal, to stand up for yourself, to love yourself and to know that you have value and deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Below are 3 valuable pieces of advice to help you deal with breakups based on my own personal experiences.
1.) Take some time alone to heal
Often we are so quick to connect with someone to mask the pain or ease the hurt, whether emotional/physical or both. But we are doing more harm than good to ourselves. Giving myself time to grieve my last breakup and giving myself the chance to be comfortable with being alone was one of the best things I could do. It helped me to avoid pitfalls that held me back from becoming a better and wiser me.
It was not easy and I could have chosen to quickly get involved with another person… I had a crying night alone, wanting someone there to hold me and let me know that they are there and care. There were moments when I wished I had the extra partner support to raise my daughter. I had many moments of wanting to do all the exciting things that couples do but I made a choice to take some time alone to get over the hurt, pain, disappointment, and broken trust. I did not want to feel like any man I see in the future would eventually make me feel that way again. I wanted to go into a new relationship with a focus on getting to know that person for who he is and not what I went through in the past.
2.) Learn to love you & enjoy YOU ... just the way you are!
Now is the season to begin to invest in yourself and love yourself just the way you are. You were created to love and be loved without being disrespected, hit, abused, talked down to or not supported. I used to be confused because the love I felt was not reciprocated. It seemed I was giving so much of myself that I had lost myself. It was as if I was living but not thriving, and I want to thrive in all areas of life: Emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally. It all starts with the foundation of first knowing who you are before learning to love yourself unconditionally.
3. Build your support system
Your support system includes the people, places and things you have in place to assist you in living the best quality of life through all the many challenges and changes. It’s time to draw closer to those people or things that benefit you, bring life, or help you grow to be better not worse.
That was very important for me to do, instead of forcing a support system that is not for me. I try to do everything modestly with discipline, from going out, socially drinking, shopping, and even working. Everything we do has to be disciplined. When we take time to know ourselves, our wellbeing will let us know what is working and what is not. The goal is to have a well balanced life that is thriving after a life disruption.
“I had to choose to love me with all of my flaws, with my good, and the bad, I had to learn to invest in me and love me before I could attract or embrace someone else coming in my life..”
~ K.I.M
In one of my recent interviews, I share my experience with failed marriages and domestic violence with relationship expert, Dr. Dan Amzallag. Through listening, you can also uncover some valuable advice on dealing with a breakup or divorce.
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